Monday, November 26, 2012

five & every bit alive~

happy 5th birthday libby claire!

november 10th libby claire turned 5. each year that rolls around (post 2009) is a major celebration for our family. no, it is not that we celebrate bigger & better for her and not our other 4 is just different.
on july 10th 2009 while we waited to hear the news that our 19 month old had not made it through surgery, as we were told to expect, my mind raced with thoughts. some of these were the november 10th days that would come and go for the rest of my life. the november 10ths that i would encounter each year. a day we only celebrated once for her. the cakes, balloons, presents, what she would have looked like, talked like, her favorite things. it is so true that your life does flash in front of your eyes in crisis moments. i vividly remember these thoughts, the sorrow & loss that came with these is still so real. the tears burned my face at that time, my stomach and whole body hurt. i was in pain, physical pain. i was cold, felt the death already. i was mourning.
 miraculously & only miraculously that did not happen!
now each november 10th that comes is different for me as her mama. i know what cake she wants, i see her excitement, i know her favorite things. she IS walking, she IS eating, she IS talking, she IS alive!
here are a few recent pictures of libby claire~

happy 5th birthday sweet libby claire!
we love you!

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