it has been a while-
"mice to meet you"
i must say i have missed blogging but not really. i have had NO time! the past 7 months ( wow, has it really been that long) have been a blur. so much has gone on in our lives. we have celebrated finn's 1st birthday, beau's 9th, maggie's 8th, matt graduated from seminary, planted relevant Church, had a lot of therapy appointments, few doctor visits, & so much more. we have just tried to survive our craziness.
libby claire had an appointment with dr. matthews last week. he is always encouraging & loves libs. he has ordered a new CT scan & hopes there is bone growth behind the kryptonite (prosthetic bone material) if so, he would love to go in & shave down the kryptonite & one day she would just have her OWN skull!
i seem to dread these appointments & find myself caught between gratefulness for the doctors but my heart wants for there to be no more appointments, ever. i stress, delay in scheduling the actual appointment, & end up in tears just because. i would really like for her to have just a typical life as a 3 1/2 year old. dr. matthews sees some things that libs is challenged with. her impulsiveness, lack of safety & personal boundaries, the constant state of motion her body is in, her lack of memory, speech, following directions, the list seems endless. he wants us to seek supplements to change her chemistry. she will begin to take magnesium citrate, zinc glisinate, & fish oil (DHA), & CALM. he hopes it will help with a lot of her brain activity. we do too! matt & i are in a constant state of motion also, watching, talking, punishing, protecting, coaching-parenting! but it seems to be more taxing to parent a child with a "brain injury." we are back to the drawing board with her therapists. we meet 2-3 times a week. she is still in cognitive delay therapy & speech.
but when i get bogged down in the day-to-day challenges i remember that God has known all her days before they ever were. He knew this would all take place. i regret the frustration i have- it is replaced with the people Jesus has touched thru her, the lives changed. i would never change that nor take it back. of course, "normal" would be great but who has that? i am reminding myself daily to love her where she is, who she is, & even more who she is making us be as parents. we find ourselves wanting her to be more gentle, slower, talk more, push less, understand, follow instructions, slow down! but why? that is her...fearfully & wonderfully made! PRAISE THE LORD!
i am hoping for all of you that the "libby claire's" in your life ,whatever they may be, no matter how constant & how consuming you recognize He has ordained all your days. He has set them before you, and then have courage because He is walking with you.
libby claire has never met a stranger...but when she greets you she sticks out her hand & says "mice to meet you!" plan on sticking out your hand & taking HIS.
fear not, for i am with you.
do not be dismayed, for I am your God;
i will strengthen you, i will help you,
i will uphold you with my righteous hand.