Monday, November 22, 2010

my mint nutty buddy

beau went to the grocery store with me the other afternoon. for a treat he got to pick out the dessert we were going to have after dinner that night...big deal dessert is at our house. great motivation tool & always keeps behavior in check during the week. he chose a variety box of nutty buddy ice cream cones. score-it even had the mint chocolate covered ones...but only three in the box. after dinner maggie went to the freezer & picked her fudge filled nutty buddy, libs got the same. i think it was more the purple writing on the wrapper than it was the fudge filling, girls! i followed by getting myself a mint chocolate dipped one. beau perked up at the table & mac was already getting out of his seat. it really was a mad dash to the freezer for a mint cone. mac got one & beau got one- there were no more mint cones left. matt of course went to the freezer pouting because he knew he got a plain vanilla nutty buddy. upon his return to the table we had all opened and begun to enjoy the joy of eating of our chosen dessert. i know matt loves mint ice cream anything. i could tell, not to mention his complaints about getting shafted out of his favorite dessert that he really wanted a mint one-not plain vanilla. so what does a good wife do? what does a good christian wife do? what does a Godly woman do?

i offered my mint chocolate dipped cone over to my husband. i totally was expecting him to refuse & go ahead and let me enjoy my already opened dessert, but NO, he took it right out of my hands. then on top of that he relished every last bite even saying how amazing it was. in my face. i was left with the stinking vanilla cone.

while watching this unfold i could not really tell where my heart was. on one hand i knew i should have openly & freely given it to matt. i mean i offered it. i could have very well have kept my mouth shut & savored every bite of my mint cone. after all, i got it first. better yet, our boys could have given their father their cone. he should be in charge...getting what he wants. our boys didn't buy them. i kept saying in my mind that i should be able to give & give happily. it is just a little ice cream cone. i can even go out and buy more tomorrow if i want one that bad. how ridiculous that i am still thinking he should have refused or even why am i going round
& round over a silly ice cream cone. that was not Godly. secretly i pouted while i finished my plain jane cone-

once the kiddos all got put in bed i began to think on that scenario of the mint chocolate dipped cone. it all flooded me as i was writing. matt's best friend chris passed on thursday of last week. hard weekend...amanda chris's wife asked me to embody chris in writing. mighty task. i was humbled & honored to be asked. as i wrote words about this blameless godly man i was thrown back to my dessert. my choice at the table. i offered & gave my prized ice cream cone. it looked and seemed to be sincere but in my heart i really wanted to keep it. i was convicted about how many times i have offered, given, followed through only because i needed to or it would be the right thing to do. or even the times i offered only hoping & wishing the other person would refuse.

what kind of person does that? as my heart wrote words to sum up the life & ministry of chris brown i learned something so amazing. from now on i will spend my days in service. chris was a servant. whole hearted, giving freely, never asking because it was the right thing to do. i will take form chris a true selflessness. a sacrifice, yes, but such a heart reward. he was Christ like in everyway.

today i look at what happened around our dinner table with a new frame of mind. yes, i wanted my mint nutty buddy. i shopped for it, paid for it, unloaded it out of the grocery bag, planned on eating it for dessert, even got up & got it for myself. i unwrapped it...i wanted it. but looking across the table i saw matt who wanted it also. he needed it more than i did. he looked sad with his little plain vanilla nutty buddy. i gave mine to him.

plain & simple, I GAVE.

& i plan to do it more often & a lot more of it...freely & expecting nothing!

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