Wednesday, April 14, 2010

freckles...



jeremiah 1:5



today is libby claire's favorite nurse matts birthday. i have written about what an awesome person matt is & how he will have a place in our hearts forever. matt never got to see libby claire awake because he not only works the night shift but she was also in a coma while he was at all children's. matt is a traveling PICU nurse & left to be in another hospital before libs was removed from the coma meds. how i wish we would have met him & his sweet amanda (also a PICU nurse) in some other way. he calmed matt & me. as soon as 6:40 would roll around we knew at night that libby claire would be in good hands & he would take wonderful care of her. we are so grateful to all the staff at both hospitals for their delicate care of our baby girl but mostly to nurse matt...even in libby claire's coma she loved him...we could just tell. happy birthday nurse matt. i was reading in the books of acts the other day & thought of matt. jesus healed, calmed fears, guided, taught & loved throughout his ministry. matt mirrored Christ for us at that time in our lives. through matt we felt jesus. thank you matt!


i remember when the swelling got extremely bad. it moved from her head throughout her whole body. libby claire was unrecognizable. it was not only how fluid filled & swollen she was that broke our hearts but the small changes that only mama & daddy would notice. there are these two teeny tiny freckles on pips left knee. they had completely moved to the other side of her leg & up some during the time of all the swelling. she had changed, in the biggest & smallest of ways. we knew where those freckles belonged & needed to be. when we pointed it out to one of the doctors she said "wow, how could you notice something so small.?" my answer was " i am her mother...i know every square inch."

i was up last night around 4 am thinking & couldn't get back to sleep after feeding finn. my mind began to remember her little body...those little freckles. then i began to think of our Father & the many scriptures written about His love & how He knows us so well. before we were even born God knew of us. He knows the number of hairs on our head...the tiny freckles on our knee. what hope i take from that. how those scripture verses heal my heart & comfort me. just like i know every little part of libby claire as her mother He knows so much more. to think i love our baby girl so much & know her so well & He does EVEN more than i. that baffles me. it is amazing being a parent. the love of christ is a little bit easier to understand & relate to but still seems to overwhelm me.

i am thankful to our savior for knowing where our little teeny tiny freckles are & should be, even when they are moved out of place a bit. thank you jesus for your holiness, acts of mercy & healing, teachings, love & grace. i am grateful for your people who displayed you to us.
we did not take any pictures of libby claire when she was at her worst. this was taken much later. matt & i rememer the reason we took this picture was because she looked so great to us. most of the swelling had gone down & she was ours again. now looking back my heart hurts to think that this looked great! whew...what a miracle...look where she is now! :)

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