the same sun that softens the wax also hardens the clay.
we went to see dr.matthews on thursday. he is a wonderful doctor & always puts us at ease even if the situation is not ideal. as is pips case. he confirmed that she is having bone resorption & has put her on a vitamin D supplement. she has one drop twice a day. pretty easy! this will help her regenerate the bone that she is losing. we go back to see him in 6 weeks, january 5th. we will also see dr.mclanahan on january 13th. dr.matthews will then be able to tell us if she will need a bone graft surgery. we will hurry up & wait, again. we ask for specific prayer for her bone to stop the resorption & for bone regeneration to begin. also, pray for her "2 year oldness." she is giving us a major run for our money :) i can barely keep up!
we had a great few days full of sunshine last week. one of my favs is sitting in a beach chair with a built in pillow in the driveway. i know seems a little crazy but soaking in the sun while the kids play outside is bliss to me. i can hear their voices, laughter, & all the sounds of life spilling out of all 4 of them. with my eyes closed the warmth of the sun rains down & being able to have the bright light filtering through my lids is perfection. my brother in law & i have the same heaven...it will be on a beach late in the afternoon, i in my beach chair, feet in the ocean. the heat of the sand, the glow of the setting sun will wrap around me, & it will be completely silent. no voices just the amazing sounds of the ocean, wind, & my libby claire's seagulls. then off to the banquet set before me...
i heard the quote "the same sun that softens the wax also hardens the clay," during those sunny days. i had to "chew"on it for quite sometime. it seemed so deep, so real, so applicable to my life,our life right now. we are basking in the sun, eyes closed, enjoying every minute. grateful to our Father for healing, mercy, grace & enduring love. our wax has been softened. but that same sun is hardening our clay. we feel baked, left out to dry to long, the red clay desert comes to mind...thirsty, dry, cracked. desolate...how can that be?
my course over the next 6 weeks is simple. i am going to be the wax & i am going to be the clay. that is my answer, who i am, right now, where God wants me to be. no coincidence that Christmas is near, a new gift of life will be coming soon after. i am meant to live & experience & feel it all. each moment i feel the warmth of the sun, i am going to drink it in, even if i get to that parched point. i am planning for more softening wax days but i know that the desert of the clay will come.
i will be sitting in my beach chair, eyes closed looking to the Son. i will be under the Son with my wax softened & clay hardened.