i have always loved "posting" on our blog. i was looking forward to snapping away on the beach as our beach bums played in the sun, chased sea gulls, jumped waves & even got a nap under the umbrella. never did i imagine how our lives would change in an instant. this is a picture we took of libby claire on the way to the beach. i did not get my camera out the rest of the day, knowing i had a good 2 weeks of beach time to take photos. oh how i wish i had taken a million pictures of all of the kiddos playing that day, of libs digging in the sand, blowing the sand off her goldfish, toes in the water, chasing sea gulls, laughing at her brothers, playing barbies with maggie, smiling that libby claire smile. we remember that day so well. even friday morning of the 10th we sang the wheels on the bus, ate breakfast, played & prepared to go to the beach. what memories. her little voice!
now in silence we wait. we have been broken to a point that no one could imagine to understand. the amount of pain, physical pain that you feel when you know your child is slipping away is indescribable. but, we realized she is not ours, but His. God has formed & known our libby claire even before we thought of her. He knew of this trial, He knew the pain, He knew the fear, He knew all...but He also has never left her or us. i always thought if something happened to one of our children or anything tragic my faith would falter. i would fall, like most people.
i am here, standing firm, never have i been drawn so near to the presence of our Lord as i am today. i could feel His hands holding me up as the doctors told me she would not make it through surgery, He was feeling my pain as i cried out during the most fearful times, He was whispering words of comfort to our baby girl, His baby girl, during her coma, He has guided the doctors & nurses this whole time, He has been here, so real, so steady, so sure. my faith has not faltered.
yes, we are numb. i am begining to think that it is not numbness but almost peacefulness. i trust in Him, i have His peace.
libby claire is an evangelist. her story has reached to the corners of the earth. people who don't know her are on their knees praying, no believers have come to know Christ through her, those struggling in their own faith have drawn on hers. God has great purpose here. He has let her go from heaven 3 seperate times...she was there with Him...in all His glory...He let her come back to us, come back to YOU. we always called her the walking evangelist because she never met a stranger, she would draw you in, she would witness through her eyes, smile, laugh. a true child of God, whole & innocent. He sees us all that way.
libby claire, our sweet girl. we are humbled that even during your coma you are drawing everyone in. speaking Truth, love,commitment, perservence, peace, joy, faith, hope...
we all draw near, through you He is closer.
His power is made perfect in our weakness!
2 Cor. 12: 9&10